Happenings: A Heart is Broken

Glorious in victory...and defeat.

I know. It has been a week since last I’ve blogged. I wish I could say I was busy doing something like curing cancer or infiltrating a Colombian drug ring. But, alas, I wasn’t. I was trying to get over last Tuesday—Black Tuesday—when I had to say goodbye to my dream of seeing Rachel Neville, SCV mother and winner of multiple beauty pageants, serve on the Newhall County Water District Board. I am forced to conclude that all but the 1,052 Claritans who voted for her have something against beauty, poise, and congeniality.

As the results of Tuesday’s election attest, I am not always right about what my fellow Claritans will do. Indeed, elections come down to the stronger of two competing desires, and I can’t always pick which one of the two will win out. First, Claritans are motivated by the desire to keep things the same. Everything is working just fine right now, thank you very much, and we’d like to keep it that way. Maintaining the status quo can require effort, though, because people like Lynne Plambeck and TimBen Boydston have been known to disrupt the smooth flow of business-as-usual in the valley. (Lynne, for example, has sometimes questioned the rate and kind of growth taking place in this valley. Jesu forfend!) This is where the second, competing desire comes in: the desire to not expend too much effort keeping the status quo. In short, the vote reflects the winner in the battle between conservatism and apathy. Apathy won, with most Claritans not even bothering to vote. This ensured that Lynne’s decidedly non-apathetic fans could carry her to victory. Dan Mortenson won the other seat because the world is cruel and unfair to people with the initials R.N.

I won’t feign interest in the school board elections. Suffice it to say that candidates who value education and cherish the youth of America beat other candidates who value education and cherish the youth of America. I’m sorry; it’s just that my heart only had room for one race. And while my heart is now broken, I offer congratulations in a show of good will.

Congratulations, Dan. May no one or thing stop you from saying “yes” to water for every City project, not even Mother Nature or good sense.

Congratulations, Lynne. May you never be haunted by the Chamber of Commerce and your new colleague who tell you that, in ten years with the N.C. Water District, you’ve never done your job right once.

Only in SCV: What About the Smelt?

When you’re all grown up and sitting on the therapist’s couch, don’t you dare say I didn’t love you: I just spent an hour of my life listening to the Newhall County Water District Board debate on KHTS[1]. Given that the election grows ever nearer I thought I’d provide a helpful summary of what went on at this past Monday’s face-off. Sure, The Signal already provided cursory coverage of what’s been said[2], but did they consult smelt? I think not. And I'm still waiting for the paper's reporters to offer more pertinent candidate details, like their astrological signs (doesn't a Pisces, Scorpio, or Cancer make sense?).

Anyhow, I’ve assembled a chart highlighting the three candidates actively vying for the two vacancies on the Newhall County Water District Board. I say "actively vying", but that phrase might be a little over-generous for candidate Rachel Neville. While dismissed by some as a beauty queen, she’s ambitiously pursuing an advanced degree at UCLA and wants to go straight to the top of the SCV political scene[4]. Service on the district seems like a fair way to get her feet wet, but she’s not acting very much like someone who wants to win. Plambeck said Neville has never attended a Water District Board meeting, and Neville wasn’t at the KHTS/Signal debate. Obviously, there are plenty of circumstances that take priority over going to a debate. But maybe, just maybe, might there be some in Santa Clarita who want Rachel Neville to win (and displace Plambeck) more than she wants to win herself?

I would encourage you to learn more about each candidate before making a decision in November, but that’s not my style. After all, an educated vote and an uneducated vote count just the same, but the uneducated one is so much easier!

Click to make the charts bigger--sorry. Quotations and particulars were gleaned from the broadcast debate (link provided in footnote 1). Also, the education in R.N.'s box should read "Master's/PhD not specified on the Mrs. SCV website."

My prediction? People will give their first vote to either Lynne or Rachel but they'll all give their second vote to Dan. Severe water shortages in Atlanta and the Delta Smelt story favor a conservation-oriented candidate, but business, the bulk of mailers, and the desire to fight-the-fish favor someone who won't stand in the way of (any) new development. I suppose we shall see.


[1]Listen here
[2]The Signal's story just in case you value things like respectful reporting. While you're there, do email them a request for details on astrological signs.
[3]KHTS ran the piece in which Pat Ingram is quoted. Read it here.
Do you seek to know more about THE CHAMBER? I introduce them in this blog, and their official site is here.
[4]Dug up by J.W. of SCVTalk, her pageant page provides all manner of insight.