Monday, September 10, 2007

Happenings: Watch out, POTRs!



This is one of the drier reaches of the Santa Clara. Water can flow for as little as a few weeks each year.

I’ve always known that people live in the river. At the risk of stating the obvious, I’m referring to the Santa Clara River; it’s the only one us Santa Claritans have to refer to. Along parts of its range, the Santa Clara runs only after winter storms. The rest of the year it’s a still, sandy wash. These predominately dry stretches are the favored haunts of POTRs[1] (a POTR is a “Person Of The River”; POTRs the plural form), those enigmatic individuals who spend part of their lives walking, eating, sleeping, (defecating), etc… along the riverbed.

While I’ve always known about POTRs[2], I’ve never actually seen one. There have been traces, though. Tucked into a stand of willows I found a plastic chaise lounge that served as a cot for a blue nylon sleeping bag. On another occasion there were two pairs of recently laundered socks hung out to dry on some twigs. More commonly, I’ll see food wrappers and discarded bottles. But still, I’ve never seen an actual person. Given the frequency with which Newhall gang members, dirt bikes, and dog walkers invade the riverbed, I imagine those living there must move around a lot.

For POTRs, a dry year is a good year. By this standard, 2007 had been very good indeed. The lack of rain has meant no flooded homes, no scouring away of personal effects, and no need to seek shelter elsewhere. Unfortunately, SCOPE[3] and other organizations are sponsoring the annual river clean-up this Saturday[4] that once again threatens the POTR way of life.



A

B C

Exhibits A (the bench); B (trash from assumed teens); and C (trash from assumed full-time POTR).


Any student of POTRs would know that pictured above is a bench, but river cleaners often mistake such constructions for garbage. Judging by the litter that surrounds it, I’d wager the bench belongs to opportunistic teenage POTRs. A lot of cheap branded beer cans and cigarettes suggests this is a place to imbibe illegally. This assertion, however, must be reconciled with the presence of a few store-brand cans of corn and water bottles—items more suggestive of full-time POTRs who need nourishment apart from beer. Perhaps a full-timer uses the teenagers’ hang-out to dine when it’s not occupied. Regardless, this entire enclave is doomed once river cleaners are unleashed.

Taking away someone’s shelter of tires and driftwood is a serious matter (I've even seen tents being disposed of in years past), especially to the someone to whom they belong. To be fair, however, river clean-ups come but once a year and are not always complete disasters to river folk. Their timing actually minimizes damage to POTRS. Sure, they lose their chairs, but within as little as a couple months rains cause the river to run again and force them to higher ground anyways. And just as the flooding of the Nile nourished Egyptian crops with silt, the flooding of the Santa Clara nourishes POTRs with car tires, 2” x 4”s, and other essentials.

In conclusion, the clean-up reminds POTRs that life in a seasonal river is a balancing act. But if they’re able to fight flood, find food, and hide from environmentalists, they might just make it.

[1]Pronounced “Potter”, just like the boy who lived. It's important to note that they're not homeless; the river is their home.
[2]This based on frequent trips to the Santa Clara from a young age; it’s one of the places I heart most in SCV—and with minimal irony.
[3]Santa Clarita Organization for Planning the Environment, a Lynne Plambeck production

[4]More information here

Happenings: September's Super Saturday

Unfortunately, I will be away for the next ten days. This means that I will be missing some of the finest offerings of the September Claritan Calendar (the 15th in particular is something of a Super Saturday--Wayne Newton is coming![1]). I’ve summarized these happenings below should you enjoy rivers, buses, or luncheons. If you go to any of the events, feel free to share pertinent observations in the comments section.

Friday, September 14 – Sunday, September 15
OLPH Church BBQ/Fiesta[2]: Us Catholics have amassed quite the ethnically diverse following, so you can expect strong showings in American-carnival-ized Filipino, Mexican, and Italian food. Live music, carnival rides, and salvation will also be available.
Cost: Free to “get in”; food, rides, etc… quite reasonably priced

Saturday, September 15, 8:00am – 11:00am
13th Annual River Clean-up/Expo[3]: Help pick up waste that accumulates along the Santa Clara. If you attend, please tell the young and foolish that rocks and fallen leaves—even the ugly ones—do not constitute trash and should not be thrown away. I’ve seen it happen. There are also booths there to inform and enlighten—environmentally speaking.
Cost: Your feet

Saturday, September 15, 12:15pm
Santa Clara River Tour[4]: Learn about the geography and character of the Santa Clara River, and discover how developers build homes in floodplains for fun and profit. I went a year or two ago and got a charming packet-o-stuff including words to a river song! In all seriousness, though, it’s a nice trip and you’ll learn a lot about a lot. It’s sponsored by the Sierra Club and SCOPE.
Cost: $10 for the bus tour; lunch included


I inflicted this Sharpie tatoo on my friend's hand during the 2006 river tour.


Saturday, September 15
Day for Kids: If you want to celebrate your kids rather than have them save the environment on Saturday, click here to learn more.

Wednesday, September 19, 11:30am
State of the City Luncheon[5]: I am deeply regretful of the fact that I didn’t arrange my life in a way that would allow me to attend this event. It promises to be truly spectacular. There will be food, Claritans-of-Consequence, and speeches! If possible, bring along a pen and piece of paper so you can tally every time you hear the words “hope(ful)”, “success(ful)”, “progress”, and “community.”
Cost: $30 for the luncheon; ability to withstand the self-important helps


[1]http://www.santa-clarita.com/cityhall/cmo/calendar/viewevent.asp?id=4948
[2]SCVLife has it covered
[3]River Rally
[4]Call 661-259-6899 for more information
[5]State of the City

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Happenings: Something Sinister Blooms

Despair and discontent are not the only things that bloom during the Santa Claritan summer. So too does Western Jimsonweed (Datura wrightii). Its large white flowers open at dusk, going through most of the procession below in a single night.




The plants pictured, incidentally, are growing in a vacant field beneath some Southern California Edison power lines (I'm sure I got a year's worth of radiation exposure while taking these photos). Amazingly, they manage to thrive in full sun without a speck of rainfall from the time they emerge to the time they senesce.
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I should mention that it’s best to appreciate the flowers of Jimsonweed visually rather than gastronomically: they’re living reservoirs of toxic plant compounds (e.g., atropine, scopolamine, dihydroxytropane...). Ingesting Datura can cause everything from intense, terrifying hallucinations to temporary blindness to death.
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Despite these dangers, many SoCal Indian tribes utilized the plant in medicinal and spiritual applications. Some of these are discussed by James Adams and Cecilia Garcia, authors of the very interesting Spirit, Mind and Body in Chumash Healing[1]. Of course, indigenous Californians aren't the only ones to use Datura--"Momoy" to the Chumash. Adams and Garcia explain:
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Momoy is currently abused in the American Southwest and results in many deaths and hospitalizations every year. Unfortunately, the Internet, popular fictional accounts and word of mouth have spread rumors that eating the seeds is safer than using the rest of the plant, since the seeds are supposed to contain less atropine and scopolamine. This appears to be completely false. Eating 20 or more seeds has resulted in many deaths (8). There are three common types of deaths that occur from eating momoy (9). The first occurs when the person panics as the auditory and visual hallucinations start. The person may drive a car into a fatal accident or have some other fatal accident, usually due to loss of vision. The second type of death occurs when a person on momoy has had a nonfatal accident and goes to the emergency room. The doctors in the emergency room may anesthetize the person. This is usually fatal since anesthesia causes respiratory depression that is additive with the respiratory depression caused by momoy. The third type of death occurs in people who have very slow and erratic absorption of scopolamine. Perhaps one quarter or so of people are in this category. These people take more momoy when the first dose has no effect. Death occurs from D. wrightii ingestion with blood levels of as much as 47 ng ml–1 of atropine and 21 ng ml–1 of scopolamine. Urine levels at death can be as high as 200 ng ml–1 of atropine and 95 ng ml–1 of scopolamine (3). Death from respiratory depression may occur as late as 13 h after the initial ingestion of momoy.
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As is the case in most states, Jimsonweed/Datura/Momoy ingestion is not forbidden in California[2]. People have only their common sense to keep them from doing something stupid with the plant (God help SCV).
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[1]Published in Oxford University Press' Evidence-based Complementary and Alternative Medicine (2005). If you're like me and don't happen to have that journal just lying around the house, you can read their full piece online at Volume 2, issue 4, pp. 459 - 463.
[2]This National Drug Intelligence Center .pdf brochure tells the tale of Jimsonweed (note: the one they talk about is in the same genus as our local jimsonweed and very similar to it; it's just not the same species). The information is a little out of date because Oklahoma has also legislated against the plant.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Only in SCV: Free Stuff For Being Young

Kids have it pretty hard these days, especially in Santa Clarita. They have to be well-versed in High School Musical[1], get the grades it takes to get into C.O.C., and survive ingestion of lead-based paints on their Dora the Explorer toys[2].

Spending a day in the shoes of a Claritan kid would surely make those whiny orphans from Sub-Saharan African realize how lucky they are. All they have to worry about is growing enough millet to eat next year and getting their HIV meds![3].

Anyhow, I’m happy to know that I’m not alone when it comes to thinking it’s high time that this community showed its appreciation of youth. According to an August 30th City press release “Every year, Americans celebrate Mother’s Day, Father’s Day…even Groundhog’s Day. The City of Santa Clarita thinks it time to honor children by celebrating a ‘Day for Kids.’[4]" To be precise, Santa Clarita will be officially participating in the nationwide Boys & Girls Club's Day for Kids held on the third Saturday of September[5].

Click on the trademarked star to learn more about the DFK. According to the Boys and Girls Club-sponsored site, "By celebrating BGC Day for Kids, we remind the children in our lives just how important they are." Obviously, the bulk of participants will be the negligent parents who were just waiting for a national organization to tell them to start caring about their kids.

While the event is purportedly about getting parents to be more involved in the lives of their children, it’s also a great chance to win free stuff. Several community businesses have come forward with donations to show that they’re pro-kid. Wal-Mart, for one, has given a computer that will be raffled off to a child in Newhall Memorial Park, the epicenter for the event. Blockbuster has even donated an X-Box.

Because the Day for Kids is but two years old, I’m not sure if it’s traditional to buy one’s children additional gifts in honor of the occasion. I imagine it should be.

[1]Whether it’s because they like it or because they want to be able to mock it depends on age. And yes, I was blessed to attend Valencia High School with HSM co-star Ashley Tisdale. She’s changed a lot in five years. For starters, her skin and hair are no longer gray.

(Then & Now)
[2]Let's explore high concentrations of lead in kids' toys!
[3]Talk of hungry African kids vs. American kids always recalls this classic the Onion article
[4] Press release
here. Does seeing the phrase written as “Mother’s Day” bother you too? If so, reading some guy's thoughts on apostrophe placement in the phrase might help
[5]Learn more about this heart-warming idea here

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Happenings: Mayo and Ferry and Plans, Oh My!

What follows are observations from the live-televised City Council meeting that began on August 28 and stretched nearly an hour into August 29. It was, of course, the Henry Mayo Master Plan[1] that was responsible for the long meeting and for such memorable quotations as “This is my turn! I get to have my turn!” (see paragraph 6). For some background on the current HMNMH issue, read this and the first section of this.

Last night’s City Council meeting began with an utterly bizarre anecdote by Tim Ben Boydston. It involved Simon Wiesenthal, Nazi death camps, and lending a Jewish holy book for payments of food. The story suggested that one should focus on the many people in this world that do good over the few people that do evil—I think.

Some two hours later, the Council finally opened the floodgates and let a torrent of public comments on the hospital master plan flow. Those in favor of the plan went first. Roger Seaver shocked the crowd by suggesting that his hospital’s expansion project was a good idea, and he was backed up by a couple of residents who anticipated a need for more expansive hospital services. It seems that offering free meals to any hospital employee willing to speak at the council meeting—an allegation of the hospital made by at least two speakers against the plan—had proved unsuccessful.

Fittingly, it was David Gauny, chairperson for Smart Growth SCV[2] who began the comments in opposition of the hospital’s revised master plan. He came off as articulate, informed and—dare I say it?—righteous in his three-minute oration. He stated very clearly that he and those in his group needed to be assured that the project would expand the hospital and not just build medical office buildings. He added that this was the portion of the project Seaver had been reluctant to fully commit to. Furthermore, he noted that key elements of the plan, like a development agreement, were unacceptably missing.

Before he had returned to his seat, Mayor McLean let out an exasperated moan-sigh and challenged Gauny directly, asking him for exactly what he wanted (how many buildings, etc…). Gauny again cited flaws in the plan at the most fundamental level that prevented him from being able to make such specific requests. Ferry got his turn to be exasperated next, but he would save his largest outburst for later.

The remainder of the twenty-five opposing comments focused on the sentiment that it would be unfair for residents to lose trees and endure more than a decade of construction all so G&L Realty[3] could profit. Carole Lutness summed it up best: “What I want is a hospital, not a way for G&L to make a lot of money.” Former Mayor Carl Boyer put things a bit more directly when he called the proposal “rotten on a number of counts.” Of course, even he was outdone by a soft-spoken, accented Ms./Mrs. Pinkerton (I missed her first name) who called those associated with the plan “a diabolical lot.”

When the City Council finally got to weigh in (after 11pm), Frank Ferry’s comments stood out just a smidgen. At first, he seemed to be making a startling amount of good sense, noting how medical office buildings now provide services once exclusive to hospitals. He said that allowing non-hospital medical buildings would be a positive thing for the valley (unfortunately ignoring the fact that this could be done within existing zoning laws). Summoning up passion impressive for the late hour he said “When I get a stroke […] I want to be fixed freakin’ now so I’m not six-feet under.” By this point he was standing up, shouting about being selfish when it came to medical care, and gesticulating with gusto. McLean interjected “Excuse me, excuse me, hey!” to no avail. Ferry could not be stopped and was now accusing David Gauny of keeping “secrets” about what he and Smart Growth SCV wanted from the Council. After an intense minute or two, Mayor McLean began again “Excuse me, Frank” but was answered by Ferry with “This is my turn! I get to have my turn!” Comments/questions by Weste and McLean were decidedly tamer.

The whole issue wrapped up by not being wrapped up. The Council weighed in on the prospect of G&L charging to park on the campus (most were against), the need to recirculate/deal with the EIR (Environmental Impact Report), getting hospital drawings to be more satisfactory, and other issues that my sleep-deprived mind can’t quite summon at the moment.

To close, I have some news for the Community Holiday Tree. Tree?

Hi there. I wanted to let you know that you were a full outline point in Lisa Hardy’s presentation last night! Unfortunately, it seems that you are still going to have to die. It will be pretty late into the project and they’re going to plant your replacement first, but ultimately your demise is just about certain. According to Hardy, the replacement Holiday Tree will be “up and running” (I didn’t know trees could run!) by the time you meet a chainsaw.
[1]The hospital and its master plan
[3]G&L...which also happens to be my nickname (that's Good & Looking)

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Only in SCV: Who Needs P.R. When You Have The Signal?

I read a large portion of The Signal today, a mistake I do not intend to make again. This most uncharacteristic behavior was motivated by the paper’s 51 Most Influential People in 2007. I'll discuss the special supplement after touching upon coverage of HMNMH.

Today’s Opinion Section: The Rapidity is Quickening!
“With the rapidity of medical and technological change quickening on a daily basis, we erred on the side of boldness,” writes Roger Seaver, Henry Mayo CEO, of his original master plan[1]. His piece was part of Sunday Opinion’s in-depth treatment of the hospital expansion issue under the banner “Time for a Bigger Hospital?” Based on their “Question & Answers” section, I’m not sure why the editors included a question mark.

Indeed, questions were not ones like “Why are so many people opposed to this project?”, “What are the alternatives?”, or even “How will the 15-year construction project impact local residents?” Instead, the paper asked “What are the benefits of a master plan?” and “What would be the first improvement to occur from the master plan?” David Gauny of SmartGrowthSCV countered[2]. Unfortunately, he couldn’t pull out dazzling quotations like Seaver’s gem from Thomas Jefferson: “A good neighbor is a desirable thing.”

Which way do I go to get to a decent hospital?

Much Love for 51 Claritans-of-Consequence

Jay C. Harn’s introductory note sets the tone for Santa Clarita’s 51 Most Influential People in 2007 List: “I would like to personally congratulate all those who have been named to this list, and a special welcome to the 25 of you who are new to this exclusive list this year.” Indeed, Harn’s publication does not just pick and describe the 51 Most Influential Claritans[3]. It congratulates, celebrates, and lauds them.

By the law of averages, one would imagine that at least one of the Influential 51 might be exercising a negative influence. With the exceptions of mentioning controversy surrounding Roger Seaver and TimBen Boydston, however, I didn’t find a single person on the list who wasn’t having a positive impact on the valley called Clarita.

Of #5, for example, the writers gush “With an unprecedented passion for her job, College of the Canyons superintendent-president Dianne Van Hook has led the college by example for the last 19 years. Her efforts have turned a small community college, one of many in the state, into a hothouse of innovative ideas.” A “hothouse of innovative ideas”, you say? Must…suppress…urge…to laugh…

Don & Cheri Fleming (FLEMWATCH ALERT!) made the list, of course, sharing the number 16 spot. They were in the company of a number of other Claritans active in charity, but the developers and planners dominated the list. They included Larry Rasmussen, local leveler of hills, who was called the most influential Claritan for his Centre Pointe business park and other developments. Local politicians, educators, and men (44 of them compared to just 15 women) also showed well.

Finally, I’d like to draw your attention to the best picture in the whole supplement. It was, without a doubt, that of Paul Brotzman (#22). The photo brings his uncanny resemblance of Peter Brady—Christopher Knight—to dizzying new heights.

[1] In today's Siggie, link here
[2] David Gauny's opposing commentary here
[3] I’ve seen 13 of the Influential 51 in person and spoken with a grand total of four of them.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Happenings: McFarland's Most Ethical News Conference

NOTE(8/25/07): It seems that when I refer to "Mayor McLean's email" (paragraph 6) that I should really say "the email sent by an unidentified party using Mayor McLean's email address." The packet of emails I received at the news conference did not contain page 8 of a PDF now posted on SCVTalk. On that page, Ken Pulskamp said the email in question was sent out before the Mayor had "an opportunity to review and/or approve the message." In short, one oughtn't assume that an email from Mayor McLean was sent by her even if it came from her email addy. Finally, to correct Bruce McFarland on SCVTalk, those associated with IHeartSCV are not "emissaries" of SCVTalk, much to that site's relief, I'm sure.

With classes not yet in session and work in the afternoon, I stand in the enviable position of being able to attend “news conferences” like the one held by Bruce McFarland & Co. at 11am this morning. (The always charming Gail Ortiz, City Communications Division Manager, may or may not have met/identified two individuals associated with IHeartSCV at said conference; we'll leave that for her to decide.)

McFarland, a decidedly liberal Claritan, never met a problem he couldn’t solve with an acronym. In 2005, for example, he formed “Santa Clarita For Separation of Church and State” (SCSCS[1]) in response to then-Mayor Cameron Smyth’s prayer breakfast. I’m not sure how many members it included at the height of its power, but I imagine I could have counted them using approximately one-fifth of the fingers on my right hand.

Today, however, he came to City Hall with more than a half-dozen supporters to promote his newest effort, scvEthics.com. The website includes a form[2] that will allow any Claritan with Internet access and time to kill to report “questionable activities” they observe. Remarks Jeff at SCVTalk: “McFarland says the tattle form is ‘absolutely needed to restore confidence in our local government’ and he will apparently accept anonymous complaints, fake names, second-hand accounts, and hearsay from people who fill out the form. Yeah, this couldn't possibly be abused."[3] McFarland addressed this issue today, suggesting that City employees might feel more comfortable blowing whistles and reporting wrong-doings if they can do so without fear of being named and known. Again, "Yeah, this couldn't possibly be abused."

The news conference, held in the lobby of City Hall, began with the formal introduction of the SCV Ethics Alliance. According to McFarland, the group wants to work towards making City actions more transparent and people in power more accountable, saying that "We have no mechanism to find out what really happens."

The focus of the conference then shifted--shockingly--to the Henry Mayo expansion issue, and we were given four pages of email correspondence between Mayor McLean and Bill Reynolds on the topic. Reynolds voiced serious concern about the City's actions regarding the hospital in a July 11th email, writing "City planning personnel have done an extremely poor job as evidenced time and time again ... [the plans] are in obvious violation of the City of Santa Clarita's own 'Bill of Rights'." McLean--or one of her assistants--sent back a lengthy email responding to these concerns.

Things almost got interesting when McFarland suggested that the email from McLean might contain "factual inaccuracies." He was careful to qualify his accusations by saying "I'm just asking questions," but much of what he said was downright factual. For example, the July 24th response email from Mayor McLean states "One of the two problem intersections [for the hospital] will be corrected by another project currently before the City Planning Commission." From this quotation alone, it seems that Mayor McLean is counting her eggs before they hatch. She assumes the City Planning Commission will approve a project that removes an objection to hospital construction while the project is still being considered by the Commission.

Unfortunately for McFarland, none of the problems he's discovered are of the big, flashy variety. They involve things like saying "mixed use corridor" to defend the project instead of using legitimate zoning terms and the finer details of assessing noise impact. Thus, while his complaints are legitimate, they aren't the sort of things to get most people fired up. In fact, even our attention spans proved sorely lacking and we left for Pei Wei before the news conference was completely over. The real media was there, so if we missed anything I'm sure you'll hear about it.

The Henry Mayo issue is going to be the meat of the next Council Meeting (August 28th) according to the agenda that was released yesterday. I have no doubts that we're going to hear a lot from the new Alliance that has charged itself with making SCV more ethical.


[1]The group’s website can be found here and an interview regarding this group and its goals can be found at http://www.scvhistory.com/scvhistory/signal/newsmaker/sg052205.htm
[2]Seen something questionable? First, tell me. Then, tell McFarland on this form
[3] From the August 21st News Brief, here