Happenings: A Kind Of Final Decision Quite Possibly Looms--Maybe

It’s time, y’all. There is a special City Council meeting at 6pm today, Wednesday, November 19. And there is only one item on the agenda: a public hearing about good ol’ Henry Mayo Newhall Memorial Hospital and plans to expand the campus. Laurie Ender is set to open the meeting, likely with a brief remark about the fires that she may or may not try to link to the need for high quality medical and emergency facilities. Afterwards, there will be a lot of talking. How much? I’m not sure; please vote in the poll above to tell me.

After the jabbering has gone on for a while, the most likely course of action will be a motion to approve the recommended action, which is this:

"Receive staff and applicant presentations and public testimony and close the public hearing; adopt a resolution certifying the Final Environmental Impact Report prepared for the project and adopting a Statement of Overrriding Considerations and the Mitigation Monitoring and Reporting Program; adopt a resolution approving Master Plan 04-022, subject to the Conditions of Approval; introduce and pass to second reading an ordinance entitled: "AN ORDINANCE OF THE CITY COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF SANTA CLARITA, CALIFORNIA, APPROVING DEVELOPMENT AGREEMENT 06-001 FOR MASTER CASE 04-325 (MASTER PLAN 04-022), FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE 15-YEAR MASTER PLAN OF THE HENRY MAYO NEWHALL MEMORIAL HOSPITAL MASTER PLAN PROJECT IN THE CITY OF SANTA CLARITA, CALIFORNIA."

By passing to a second reading, the development agreement isn't exactly a done deal but essentially is. It means nothing, yet also everything. Such is the paradox of City Council.

Regardless of what happens, here is a drinking game for those watching the meeting. If you play by the rules, an ambulance will be rushing you to Newhall Memorial for alcohol poisoning by 7pm. While thematically appropriate, such a trip is not advised. Consider sipping coffee instead—you’ll need it.

Drink Once:
*When you see Frank Ferry texting
*Every time Mayor Kellar tells the “Ladies and Gentlemen” of the audience to hold their applause
*Every time we have to hear about someone’s wonderful life-saving surgery at Henry Mayo (drink twice if they recovered from something really freakish, like auto-cannibalism or rabies or Ebola)
*Every time someone mentions the recent wildfires which, interestingly, is a ploy that can work equally well for both sides

Drink Twice:
*Every time Roger Seaver says “committed”
*Whenever someone speaking in favor of the expansion is condescending
*Every time you hear “NIMBY”
*Every time you hear “recuse”

Drink Thrice:
*Every time a member of the Newhall family comes up to talk
*Whenever the ladies on CC need a potty break
*If a public speaker starts their comment with a knock-knock joke
*Every time someone mentions the community holiday tree, CT
*If someone gets a chant of “G & L, go to hell!” going

Down All The Alcohol in the House When:
*The City Council sends G&L Realty back to the drawing board by rejecting the development agreement

Please feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments section. I'll see y'all at the meeting.