Wednesday, September 19, 2007

WANTED: Book and Auditor

While not yet back in SCV, I have returned from my trip just in time to pine for the State of the City Luncheon. The chance to sit in a room full of so many movers and shakers won’t happen for at least another week[1]!

To add insult to injury, I recently learned that The 20 Year Story (the book being handed out at the event) is going to be a roughly 200-page tome full of color pictures, history, and wonder. I thought the 10-page .pdf appearing online was the actual book, kept brief out of respect for the reading tolerance of most Claritans[2]. In fact, it was just a teaser for the event.

To state the obvious, The 20 Year Story will be a mandatory component of any respectable SCV home library. Personally, I would place it between my copies of The Santa Clarita Food Pantry Cookbook and William Surrey Hart’s My Life East and West. As stated, however, I will not be at the event to receive said book. Thus, I present my first Wanted Ad.

WANTED: Copy of The 20 Year Story, pref. signed by Mayor McLean and City Council members. Unfortunately, no first-born to offer in exchange, but can give book provider feature as Claritan-of-Consequence or $4 T-shirt with “I Heart SCV” written in waterproof marker. Email me if interested.

While I’m at it, I think I’ll throw this one in. It regards the Open Space Preservation District and a 5-member panel being assembled to “review and approve the annual work program to ensure land acquisition priorities are being adhered to.[3]” In short, the City is looking for people to rubber-stamp their land acquisitions so that any claims of shady dealings can be met with "But a panel of 5 respectable, impartial, private citizens said we were doing OK!" Still, I'll implore.

WANTED: Someone to seek position on Financial Accountability and Audit Panel for the City of Santa Clarita’s Open Space Preservation District[4]. Must be 18+, SCV resident, and literate. Ideal candidate will not be a developer, married to a developer, having an affair with a developer or being blackmailed by a developer. (There goes half the valley…) Ability to critically question City recommendations also important--if only as a symbolic gesture. Would write Letter of Recommendation to those approved of by IHeartSCV, but that would ensure their defeat.

[1]I suppose I’m referring to what will be another well-attended City Council meeting next Tuesday; I could also be alluding to the imminent Loose Goose Wine Festival, though certain SCV religious groups will be notably absent.
[2]You can read it here. Whoever scanned it in did so with Cubistic flair: pages 2 and 3 preceded 0 and 1.
[3]Open Space Panel press release
[4]Open Space Panel application


Gail Ortiz said...

Fear not brave bloggers, you can get a book and it won't cost you your first born! The question is, since you are not "out of the closet," how do we can get you a book....hummmm, questions to ponder. If you have the answer, let me know.

A Santa Claritan said...

Gail Ortiz! Aww shucks, I wasn't expectin' company. If I'da known you were coming, I woulda tidied the place up a bit!

And questions to ponder indeed...