December is full of important dates, but none of them are more important than today. It was twenty years ago today that a glowing beacon first shone in the gloom of north Los Angeles County. It was twenty years ago today that fate brought together the finest land, buildings, and people into one, cohesive unit. It was twenty years ago today that civilization entered its Golden Age because, twenty years ago today, the City of Santa Clarita was born.
We should feel immensely privileged to be a part of the greatest realization of American cityhood in history. Wait, what's this...this...feeling? I...I'm suddenly overtaken by an urge to take a metered tone in an ode to the City of Santa Claria...
Great Rome and Persia rose and fell;
Babylon’s wealth and power swelled
But its vast glory too would fade.
Santa Clarita, so fair she
Alone shall live through history
Demise shall she ever evade.
Clarita, rich in SUVs
Over-priced homes, stunted trees
Pampered children, indulg’ed pets
Coffee from Starbucks, moms in sweats
Yuppies, lawyers, plastic surgeons
Stores that with tacky crap do burgeon
Thugs in Newhall, Magic Mountain
Ugly mosaic water fountains
Paseo paths and bike trails long
Master plans that are never wrong
Third mortgages, golf courses green,
Saugus Cafe and emo-teens
Daily fundraisers for charity
CalArts, Master’s, and C.O.C.
Fire-scarred hillsides, earth-quaked land
CEMEX (they want to mine our sand)
The gnarled oak of the Golden Dream
Five-thousand eleven soccer teams
Santa Clarita, my sweet dear
Your twentieth birthday now draws near
Behind you, greatness manifest
Ahead of you, greatness greater yet
One birthday wish I offer thee:
Live on; for I Heart S.C.V.